Monday, January 26, 2009

Happy Baby, Guilty Mommy

Okay, so I finally have a baby who sleeps well in his swing, sleeps long stretches at night, loooooves to have his diaper changed (instead of screaming through it each time), and is generally happy and not very needy, and guess what?

I'm stressing out about it!

I know, you'd think I'd lost my mind (almost anyways), but really, I keep thinking:

Is A getting enough love?

Am I as attached to him as I was with my other two boys who demanded I carry them almost constantly and hated their swings and bouncy chairs?

Shouldn't I be carrying him more?

I know, I'm nuts! I should just be grateful (and I am - Thank God!), but I can't help but worry a bit.

You have to know, of course, that attachement parenting in general, and specifically baby wearing have been two of my passions as a mother. I believe to the core of my being that responding to our infants needs is not only good for baby, but best for Mom, too. Not to mention the entire family, and thus the communtiy which is built up of families! Attachment parenting is basically the philosophy that by being attached to their mothers and/or caregivers as much as possible at a young age, infants will thrive and develop their own sense of autonomy later in life - and ultimately be more independent children and adults. (for more information about attachement parenting see, one among many great sites on the subject)

Much of what has been written about "attachment parenting" has been written by non-muslims from a very secular (and thus, by definition, anti-Islamic) perspective. I have read the bulk of the most popular books out there on the subject, and that, combined with my humble knowledge of our beutiful and perfect religion of Islam, has lead me to believe that not only is this the best way to raise my children, but that it is the most Islamic way as well. Our beloved Prophet, may God's peace and blessings be upon him, was himself nothing but kind and gentle to children. I always have in my mind that famous hadeeth wherein he allowed his beloved grandsons Hassan and Housain to play on his back while he was in prostration. In sujud!! In the most intimate position and place a person can be in - when he is closest to his lord - our Prophet, peace be upon him, allowed these two boys to play on his back.

There are many other examples of such an attitude toward children, especially in their earliest years, that lead me to conclude that responding to our children with love is from the most natural ways of being and parenting.

But back to my point . . .

So I look over and see my sweet 2-month-old baby peacefully looking at the world around him from the seat of his swing, and I think . . . oh, no, he's alone. I'm not attached!

Of course, I know I am attached. . .

I love him; I know him well; I feel as though he is a part of me and I respond to his every need just as I did with my two older boys. I even wear him the majority of the time (he is on my back fast asleep as I type this).

But somehow, I feel guilty that he is so happy without me. . .

Am I crazy?

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Fabulous. . . getting started.

Assalaamu Ala man it Taba'il Huda
Peace be upon those who follow true guidance.
Well, here goes. . .I would just love to get this blog going with something wonderfully inspiring. . . but waiting for inspiration is too hard, so we'll just start with some pics of the boys.
This one is A's first close-up. . . gotta love the chubb!

Next is S (my 5 1/2 year old) holding the baby in the sling. . .they learn from Mommy! :)

This one is O (my 3-year-old) loving the baby!

It's all baby these days! Masha'Allah.